[pyrnet] CHT: More rules for dogs

["Sariena" <s.foley@sympatico.ca>]

Dear Dogs: †

*When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions 
With each other so there are still two dogs in the way. ††

*The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The  
Other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a  paw
print 
In the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim  for it
becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing
in the 
slightest.
†

*The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I
fall faster than you can run. †

*I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry 
About this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure
your comfort. Look at videos of dogs sleeping, they can actually curl up
in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
stretched out to the fullest extent possible.

*I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging
out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm. †

*My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees. †

*For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under
the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through 
the
same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years,
canine attendance is not mandatory. ††

*The proper order is to kiss me, then go smell the other dog's butt.  I
cannot stress this enough!