Re: [HOE] Good, Evil, and pawnsmanship

[Dirk <darklord@dark-sky.net>]

NsideYerHead@aol.com wrote:

> In a message dated 2/26/2001 10:47:09 AM Central Standard Time,
> Dusarat@aol.com writes:
>
> << John Wayne's not dead, he's frozen!  And when they thaw out The Duke,
>  he's gonna be pissed!  And I'm taking him, and Lee Marvin, and John
>  Cassavetes, and a case of Malt Liquor and we're going down to
>  Mexico........... >>
>
> Dude, that almost brought tears to my eyes... *sniffles, but covers it up by
> staring off into the biting, dust-filled wind*
> I hope Shane keeps this for the next time he needs an upper during deadlands
> work, or if he needs to explain stuff...
>
> John

What a coincidence.  One of my posse just made a parody of that song about me
and another marshal... here it is for your reading pleasure.

"HE'S THE MARSHAL"
(sung to the tune of A$$ Hole by denis leary)

   Folks I'd like to sing a song about the role-playing dream. About me. About
you. The way deadlands
   beats way down deep in the bottom ofour chests. About the feeling we get in
the cockles of our hearts,
   maybe below the cockles, maybe in the sub-cockle area. Maybe in the guts.
Maybe in the gizzard.
   maybe EVEN in the noggin' we don't know

   He's just a regular joe with a regular job
   He's the average white psycomaniac slob
   He likes zombies and harrowed and rattlers galore
   He's got average dice that he rolls on a board
   His screen and his sheets, and the books in his car
   A Dew on the table, and a big candy bar
   But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a jerk like him interested
   (oh no) No Way! (uh-uh)
   No, he's got to go out and have fun
   At some charachters expense
   (Oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.
   We went really slow when we crossed the salt plains
   And all of us players are going insane
   He's the marshal (I'm the Marshal, yes the Marshal)
   He's the marshal (I'm the Marshal, what a Marshal)
   He sends fifty assholes for us to defeat
   And puts us in dreams so our nightmares repeat
   He's the marshal (I'm the marshal, what a Marshal)
   He's the marshal (Worlds cheapest Marshal)
   Sometimes he shoots and laughs at what pains us
   While all of the players have pissed off like faces
   He's the marshal (I'm the marshal, yes the Marshal)
   He's the marshal (I'm the marshal, Oh the Marshal)
   Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
   Ranting and raving and carrying on
   Marshals are fickle and tell me I'm wrong...
   but... Naaaah!
   He's the marshal (I'm the marshal, what a Marshal)
   Damn the marshal (I'm the marshal, I'm the Marshal)
   You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna make me a size 162 gremlin sent
straight from the reckoners,
   Hot pink with little dead kids dangleing form his belt and a players
sweetheart strapped right his back
   wearin' a polka dot Tutu Yeah! And I'm gonna maurade around the west with
that bastard crushing
   towns, and sucking down holymen and altar boys and then I'll cover him in six
foot thick Impenatrable
   non-biodigradable styrofoam armor. And when its done sucking down those
psedo-christian priests He'll
   wipe his mouth with the Coloradan flag and toss their rotting corpses right
at the players feet and there
   ain't a God damned thing any of them can do about it. You know why? Because I
got the Ghostrock,
   that's why.
   Three words Ghost rock F#*%in' weapons Okay?! Dan, Robert, Jean-Pierre - they
can have all the
   gatling guns they want, they can have a gatling gun/cannon cakewalk down the
middle of mainstreet
   and it won't make a lick of difference because I've got the bombs, okay?!
Coaquotactl's not dead- he's
   in hell and as soon as I find the right ritual I'm gonna get him out and he's
gonna be pretty pissed off.
   You know why? Have you ever gotten sun burn on your ass? well multiply that
by about a 15-billion
   times, thats how pissed off Coaquotactl's gonna be. im gonna get Coaquotactl
and Mason Albright...
   (Hey)
   and Reverend Hines
   (Hey)
   and The pox Walker
   (Scott!)
   And a case a whup ass and ride straight into Pueblo
   (Hey you know that is kind of munchkinish)
   Why don't you just shut-up and sing the song pal!
   He's the marshal (I'm the marshal, what a Marshal)
   He's the marshal (I'm the Marshal, yes the Marshal)
   M-A-R-S-H-A-L Everybody! M-A-R-S-H-A-L
   [barking]
   Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf
   Fung achng tum a fung tum a fling chum
   Oooh Oooh
   I'm the Marshal and I know you love it


Hope ya all like!

--D
Cross posted to the DL & HOE lists cause it's relavent and to the OT list cause
my friend nearly cried while reading it.