[HOE] To the PEG-Heads!

["Ray C." <r_a_c_@hotmail.com>]

Well...  To whomever whipped up the Critical tables in Road Warrior...  I 
salute you!  THEY ROCK!!!

The two times I've had to use 'em, they've gone on to bring about some 
memorable acts!

The first time, I had a Templar riding around on a SA Assult Rifle equipped 
Harley-Davidson, with his Insane Syker buddy hanging on for dear life, when, 
suddently, three cars merged on the biway...  Two sub-compacts (A Ford Colt 
and a Honda Civic), and a medium sedan (A Ford Taurus).  The guy in the 
backseat of the sedan takes a quick look at the bikers, and recognises the 
Syker...

"That's the SOB that killed Disco Stu!!!"  A Ganger who the players killed 
when I introduced full-auto rules to 'em.  They still have his Jacket, but 
it was with a player that hadn't showed up, however.  Well, combat ensued, 
and the Syker found himself riddled with 9mm rounds from the Micro-Uzi the 
backseat shooter in the sedan produced.

A critical fail on the driving roll for the Honda Civic ditched it, leaving 
only two vechicles, the Taurus that was in the middle of the "Convoy", and 
the Colt that's ahead of it.  Templar's turn.  He pulls behind the Taurus, 
and opens up with his 7.62mm Armor Piercing Ammo.  Hits once...  In the Gas 
Tank!!!  And rolls damage...  And rolls...  And rolls...  And rolls!  JUST 
enough to cause a critical hit.

Well, I check out the damage with my friendly 2d6es...  "Boxcars...  
Hmmmmm...  OH WOW!"  Yep, I rolled "I Can Fly" on the table!!!

And I started rolling...  And rolling...  And rolling.  After looking at me 
for a few minutes in anticipation while I kept making "Oh WOW!" noises, I 
explained what happened.

"As your rounds fly out, you see sparks appear from their striking the body 
of the sedan...  Suddenly, a giant fireball erupts from the bottom of the 
vechicle, causing it to flip upwards, continuing on, to land, roof-to-roof 
with the Colt, crushing both vechicles like pop cans!  Fire erupts from the 
gas tank of the Colt, and the screams from the last remaining person alive 
in the wreckage can be heard...  Chilling your very veins as he burns alive, 
while you straddle your bike, helpless to save him."  Not that they would 
have, anyways...

Anyhow, another game.  They decided to check out the local ruined, Ghost 
Rock Bombed city for salvage, to try and find enough to trade for some heavy 
weapons (Which they're going to need, oh yes, they are!!!), and, decideing 
that you can't really haul alot on a Harley, they got the Honda Civic that 
was ditched last game.  Well, after doing some scroungin' around, they 
decided to head off to the "Haunted Hospital" they had cleaned out during an 
eariler game ("Noone goes there.  Not Worm-Things, Not Walking Dead Things, 
Not even me."  "We're going there."  "Noone goes there, except idiots.  You 
idiots."  So sayeth the mutated scavenger that lives in the city!).  AFter 
driving around for a bit, finding some places blocked off by minor bits of 
trash (Like a fallen building), they heard a grunting, screaming noise from 
above!  Four HIDEOUS mutants were on top of two buildings right in front of 
them!!!  Yep, they stumbled into "Trog Terf", and found themselves being 
pelted with Cinderblocks and pieces of sidewalk which were thrown down at 
'em from the tops of the ruined buildings!  Not very damaging, but a problem 
nonetheless if one of them hits the Templar Biker or the unarmored Honda 
Civic.

Yep, The Civic got nailed!  Numerous times.  When I finally needed to roll 
for a Critical Hit, a Cinderblock smashed into the "Body" of the vechicle.  
After rolling on these BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL tables, I came up with "Popped 
the Hood"!  "The Cinderblock smashed off the Civic's hood, which flies open 
from the windstream of the racing..."  "HA!  A Honda Civic!?!?!?"  "Anyhow, 
Ol' Zeke (The Driver) simply sticks his head out the drivers side window 
like Ace Ventura."

Another cinderblock, this one hits the engine, and rolls good enough to 
cause another frigin' Critical Hit!!!  Luckily, this was the last hit.  
"Let's see what this little thing will do..."  "Cased Cracked" result.

"Great.  The sounds of a Harley-Davidson, a Ford F-350 Dually, and a smashed 
up Honda Civic fill the almost empty streets with their sound...  Black oily 
smoke from the Civic's engine marking the territory wherever you guys go."

They killed the Civic, BTW.  It was dead already, but still...

Personally, I can't wait 'til someone gets "Tin Canned"...  Hopefully it's 
the Posse, and not some of my precious Road Gangers!  ;-)
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