Re: [DL] Deadlands Christmas Carols

[Allan Seyberth <darious@darious.com>]

I think you should seek help Stan, you're starting to worry me.  I mean it man.
                         Cartman.

At 07:49 PM 12/21/2002 -0500, you wrote:
 >Greets everyone,
 >
 >Once again, for 2002, here are my Deadlands Christmas Carols, I hope
 >everyone enjoys them. A few are from last year, and a few are new.. I'm not
 >horridly good or original, but they made my friends laugh.
 >
 >=-=-=-=
 >An Undead Christmas
 >=-=-=-=
 >
 >We wish you a undead Christmas We wish you a undead Christmas We wish you a
 >undead Christmas And a happy Un-Life. We want some rotting flesh (3x) And a
 >cup of A-B... We won't go until we get some (3x) So bring it out here! We
 >wish you a undead Christmas (3x) And a happy Un-Life.
 >
 >=-=-=-=
 >Screaming Yells
 >=-=-=-=
 >
 >Dashing through the snow
 >In a 10 dog open sleigh
 >Through the fields we go
 >Avoiding the Wendigo
 >"Mush!" I tell the the tails
 >Making my face bright
 >What fear it is to ride and scream
 >A slaying song tonight!
 >
 >
 >cho: Screaming Yells, Screaming Yells
 >     Screaming all the way,
 >     Oh what fear it is to ride
 >     In a 10 dog standing sleigh, O
 >     Screaming Yells, Screaming Yells
 >     Screaming all the way,
 >     Oh what fear it is to ride
 >     In a 10 dog open sleigh.
 >
 >AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
 >
 >=-=-=-=
 >Away In a Grave Yard
 >=-=-=-=
 >
 >Away in a graveyard, no coffin for a rest,
 >The grizzled ol Gunfighter laid down his head.
 >The stars in the sky looked down where he lay,
 >The grizzled ol Gunfighter woke up anyway!
 >
 >The cattle are running, the fighter digs out,
 >But the gunfighter coughs up the dirt that he ate.
 >You scart me ol Gunfighter, make me role guts!
 >And cowering by your grave until morning is nigh.
 >
 >Stay away, ol Gunfighter, I ask Thee to stay
 >away forever, and don't shoot me, I pray.
 >Bless all the dear friends in thy tender care,
 >And take yourself to heaven, shoot yourself in the head!
 >
 >=-=-=-=
 >The Science Song (That's Insane Science to You)
 >=-=-=-=
 >
 >Chemicals bubbling on an open fire
 >Manitou wisper'n in your ear
 >Insane laughter, sung like a choir
 >All dressed up in a white lab coat
 >Everybody knows a gatling and some ghost rock
 >Help to make the streets red
 >Tiny tots, eyes red with tears
 >Will find it hard to sleep tonight
 >
 >They know that Death's on his way
 >Their daddies pulled away on a sleigh
 >And every mother's child is gonna cry
 >If they see if ornothopeters on the fly,
 >
 >And so I'm offering this simple phrase
 >To kids from one to ninety-two
 >Although it's been said many times, many ways
 >That's Insane Science to you
 >
 >And so I'm offering this simple phrase
 >To kids from one to ninety-two
 >Although it's been said many times, many ways
 >Insane Science to you
 >
 >=-=-=-=
 >D-E-A-D-L-A-N-D-S
 >=-=-=-=
 > When I was but starting,
 >Deadlands meant one thing,
 >That Iıd be shooting lots of bullets that day.
 >I learned a whole lot different,
 >When my Padre sat me down,
 >And taught me to spell Deadlands this way:
 >
 >"D" is for Death, which you get up from
 >"E" for Eternally, how screwed we are
 >"A" for "awww shit"
 >"D" means Damned, which we are
 >"L" is for Lamenting, which there will be much
 >"A" is for America, split it two
 >"N" is for No way out
 >"D"ıs for the deals we make with the devils,
 >"S" means Simple, as in simply, we're down,
 >
 >And thatıs why thereıs a fight this day,
 >And thatıs why thereıs a fight this day,
 >And thatıs when THE SHAPE SHIFTING MONSTER TRIED TO SLIP HIS CLAW INTO MY
 >BACK AND I ESCAPED AND SHOT THAT MF'ER DEAD, DEAD I SAY DEAD!
 >And that's why there's a fight this day.
 >
 >=-=-=-=
 >Little Hang'n Sheriff
 >=-=-=-=
 >
 >Come they told me
 >Pa rum pum pum pum
 >A new star on me
 >Pa rum pum pum pum
 >Only 4 foot three
 >Pa rum pum pum pum
 >Not sure what this town thinks
 >Pa rum pum pum pum,
 >rum pum pum pum,
 >rum pum pum pum
 >So to be a sheriff
 >Pa rum pum pum pum
 >When Monsters come
 >Little Shierff
 >Pa rum pum pum pum
 >"I am a poor man to"
 >Pa rum pum pum pum
 >"Be your Sheriffs,"
 >Pa rum pum pum pum
 >Still they ignored me
 >Pa rum pum pum pum,
 >rum pum pum pum,
 >rum pum pum pum
 >Then that Hangin' Judge come
 >Pa rum pum pum pum
 >"Oh shit run!"
 >
 >I drew my gun
 >Pa rum pum pum pum
 >Aimed it straight
 >Pa rum pum pum pum
 >I shot him
 >Pa rum pum pum pum
 >I shot my best for him
 >Pa rum pum pum pum,
 >rum pum pum pum,
 >rum pum pum pum
 >Then I hung him
 >Pa rum pum pum pum
 >3d12 in occult
 >Pa rum pum pum pum
 >Rum pum pum pum
 >
 >
 >
 >
 >To unsubscribe, send a message to esquire@gamerz.net with
 >       unsubscribe deadlands@gamerz.net
 >as the BODY of the message.  The SUBJECT is ignored.

-------------------
Allan Seyberth
darious@darious.com

Most of the research about species extinction has been conducted on islands 
because islands are controlled environments and scientists can get drinks 
with little umbrellas in them there. (...) Island logic also tells us that 
an increase in habitat size means an increase in number of species. But it 
doesn't necessarily. You can build your bed as large as you like and still 
get very few people to sleep with you.
                 -P.J. O'Rourke