Re: [DL] Another Joke

["Fantaphage" <zom-b@chipsnet.com>]

----- Original Message -----
From: Jeff Shoffner <shoffner@usit.net>
To: <deadlands@gamerz.net>
Sent: Friday, December 07, 2001 10:38 PM
Subject: [DL] Deadlands Fiction Contest, or: MasterCard, I'm Bored.


> Well, I don't have a short story, but I do recall a joke that was set in
the
> Wild West, let's tinker with it to make it set in DL.....


I also don't have a story for the contest yet, but I too have a joke to
share.


This one ol' cowpoke was in the middle of nowhere, camping beneath the open
sky. He sat in front of  his campfire while cooking up some vittles and
brewing some coffee, when all of a sudden the ground started to shake and he
heard a terrible noise. Jumping up, he looked off into the horizon and
couldn't believe his eyes. On the back of a giant, snarling grizzly bear,
stood a man who had to be over seven feet tall. He cracked a thunderous whip
in one hand while holding onto reins with the other. The bear ran closer
toward the ol' cowpoke, and now he could hear the strange rider swearing
over the noise made by the whip and the grizzly. Within moments the giant
grizzly and its rider were right up on the ol' cowpoke's camp. Jumping down
from the bear, was the biggest, meanest-looking cowboy that the ol' cowpoke
had ever seen before in his life. The strange cowboy wore barbed wire for a
hat-band and daggers for spurs. Without saying a word, he threw the whip
down and it slithered away. He strolled up to the campfire, squat, picked up
a handful of red-hot coals and rubbed them together in his hands. Lifting
the ol' cowpoke's coffee pot, the stranger upturned it and chugged the
boiling liquid. Wiping at his mouth with the backside of his leathered hand,
he walked over to a cactus plant and cut off a fair sized chunk, sticking it
in his jaw like chewing tobacco. Bewildered and wide-eyed, the ol' cowpoke
stuttered for a moment before inviting the stranger to have some beans and
taters with him. The stranger then turned to the ol' cowpoke and said, "No
can do pardner, I gotta keep riding." He jabbed his thumb in the direction
from which he came, "I got this real tough and onery cuss trailing me!"


-John

"Wakka-wakka!"