Re: [DL] Counter-proposal to subjects of the English monarchy [ot]

["Sam de Smith" <sam.desmith@ntlworld.com>]

Well if you want to make Northern Ireland your problem, be my guest.

Sam de Smith,
Englishman in exile.

----- Original Message -----
From: Allan Seyberth <darious@darious.com>
To: <deadlands@gamerz.net>
Sent: Wednesday, December 06, 2000 6:22 AM
Subject: [DL] Counter-proposal to subjects of the English monarchy [ot]


> We, the people of the United States of America, in order to form a more
> amusing union, hereby extend an offer to the people of that quaint
> little island known as England (or Great Britain, or whatever) to become
our
> 51st state. Given your reluctance to embrace full European unity, along
with
> the challenges of competing economically on your own, this would seem to
be
> an ideal step forward for you. There are numerous benefits.
>
> 1. Your government may remain mostly intact. Each of our states has its
> own administration, and if you want to continue under a Parliamentary
> system and call your governor a 'Prime Minister' . . . well, we think that
> would
> be very cute and would encourage you to do so. Your laws would need to
> jibe with our Constitution, but we expect that you would enjoy having
actual
> rights under the law, for a change.
>
> 2. You can keep the royals. Of course, the Windsor family would have no
> actual legal standing, but let's face it, they don't count for all that
> much now. Their value as a tourist attraction is unquestioned, though, and
> we expect Disney will greatly enhance their appeal once it assumes
> administration of the various palaces and castles. You should feel free
> to bow or curtsey or do headstands or turn cartwheels or whatever nonsense
> you think they'll find amusing when you meet, but as citizens and not
> subjects you need no longer feel obliged.
>
> 3. A clean break from Europe.  Admit it: you're dying for this. Yes,
> it's a shame you can't manage it on your own, but get over it. However, as
> America's trading gateway to the continent, your economy would soon be
> booming.
>
> 4. Minimal cultural impact.  For those of you worried that your streets
> will be filled with American fast-food franchises, your cinemas filled
with
> mindless American movies, we would suggest that you take a look around.
> It's already happened, and it ain't going away. As for language, you
should
> preserve your charming accents and even spell or pronounce words
> however you like. We're not sticklers for that sort of thing.
>
> 5. Superpower status. The Empire isn't coming back, so this might be
> the next best thing. Over here, we'd be happy to see you take over the
> American involvement in NATO. Over there, you would probably enjoy having
the
> French and Germans bluster and whine about your clumsy leadership in the
> alliance, but falling into line like little puppies when you finally get
around
> to deciding what should be done.  It's really good fun, once you get the
> hang of it.
>
> 6. Your own stamp!  Sadly, the pound must go. You can migrate to the
> dollar gradually, but look on the bright side: at least it isn't the Euro,
> whose paper notes feature drawings of imaginary places because there would
> never be agreement about which country's cities or leaders should be on
which
> denominations. We'll even put an English historical figure on a new
> note or coin (Churchill is the only one we know, but you can take your
pick).
> We can't allow any royalty on our currency, alas, but there's no reason we
> can't put the Queen and family onto postage stamps.
>
> If you're reluctant to go for full statehood, we might be able to work
> out something like the deal we give other island dependencies, such as
> Puerto Rico or Samoa.  But we think you'll enjoy having your own
> representatives in Congress, fighting to have useless Federal projects
> established in the
> State of England to boost your local economy.  And we know you'll love
> participating every four years in the world's most important election.
> You don't even need any particular voting equipment -- any outdated system
> you already have will suffice. Just fax in your vote totals whenever you
> can agree on them.
>
> -------------------
> Allan Seyberth
> darious@darious.com
> Deadlands fan site - http://www.darious.com/
>
> Take this remark from Richard poor and lame,
> Whate'er's begun in anger ends in shame.
>                  -Poor Richard's Almanac 1734
>
>
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