Re: [BNW] Speaking of the SCA

["Caias Brian Ward" <talespinner@mindspring.com>]

ROTFLMAO!!!

Tu-Smucks?   oh, you do NOT want to tell the Touchoux (sp- then again, most
of them can't spell anyway) about this...

Caias Brian Ward
Just a regular 11th Century Pict...
----- Original Message -----
From: Kirk Monsen <munchwolf@yahoo.com>
To: <bnw@gamerz.net>
Sent: Thursday, December 16, 1999 9:59 PM
Subject: Re: [BNW] Speaking of the SCA


> --- "iguana.1031" <iguana.1031@gateway.net> wrote:
> > I like it!  Mind if I use it?
> >
>

> Tu-Smucks:  Some things are too horrible to imagine,
> and that's why I share them with you.  The Tu-Smucks
> are a cross between a saturday morning cartoon, and a
> series of books about chauvenistic barbarians on an
> alternate earth.  The Tu-Smucks universally are about
> 6 inches tall (do not convert to 12 yards, they really
> are 6 inches tall, or should I say short) and blue.
> They also wear furs and chainmail (and as little as
> they could legally get away with).  Pencilic is the
> only SCA event you'll see the Tu-Smucks at, as they
> are involved in their own hedonistic rituals the rest
> of the year.  Despite being blue and small, most
> Tu-Smucks are non-deltas, and are even prejudice
> against them (well, actually they're prejudice against
> everyone whose not them ... so deltas don't get any
> special attention).  How do they get to be blue and
> small if they're normal?  There's an interesting form
> of body paint called Wode (seen braveheart?  it's the
> blue stuff on them) which is also a contact
> hallucinagene (which explains why they're always
> singing, dancing, talking to trees, and saying 'smuck
> off', well honestly they are quite vulgar, and replace
> all vulgar words with 'smuck', so if one of them tells
> you to 'smuck his smuck' you know it's not anything
> polite).  The are all 6 inches tall because their
> leader/founder, Big Daddy Smuck (also called Papa
> Smuck), is a gadgeteer who has invented a shrink ray.
> Basically it can shrink someone to a predetermined
> size for a set time (similar to shrinking power).  As
> a rule the it shrinks people to 6" and keeps them that
> size for 1hr for each second the ray is concentrated
> on them, so to keep someone shrunk for a full day
> requires them to be under the beam for about 1/2
> minute.  Only Papa Smuck and a few of his closest
> friends knows he's a gadgeteer or about the shrink
> ray.  All other members are blind folded and
> participate in a brief cermony (including the
> application of the wode) distracting the real source
> of the shrinking.  Again, all shrunken people are
> treated as the shrink power in the book (which I don't
> have in front of me) and get the same bonuses that a
> shrinker gets.
>