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RESCUER'S BLUES
by Jim Willis Awoke to a hairball on my pillow, I found kitty litter in my shoes. Have to give the cat a pill -- OW !! And I've got the Rescuer's Blues. A dog ate the kids' lunches, (and I think the remote control, too). My hair is clumped in bunches, and I have a vet appointment at two. I tell people I lost my husband, they give me sympathetic looks, actually he ran off with his garage band and took up with a woman who cooks. The dishes need a washing, the laundry's stacked in piles. A Chihuahua is alpha bossing and has the Rottweiler riled. Gotta call about a foster MinPin and explained he'd need a neuter. This idiot said he planned to breed him Someone thinks testicles are cuter? The electric could be shut off, and I hope I don't sound crass, but a bill collector just called me and I told him to kiss my... Parakeet! Someone found a bird, asked if I would take it with the worst sob story I've yet heard. I haven't seen a dentist in so long, I don't know when, but tomorrow the old Basset is having a dental at 10. My figure, I have lost it, my sanity's not far behind. My new shoes have been peed on and are missing the ties that bind. I'm supposed to relay a dog on Sunday, but don't know if I can afford the gas. I count the minutes 'till payday and the President can kiss my... Dingo! Someone found one in a park - called to see if I had room for him, here at "Noah's Ark." (Always wanted a dog who can't bark.) People ask me why I do this and I just shrug my shoulders and smile. The unconditional love of a slobbery kiss? It feels good going the extra mile. For some critters I have saved the day, despite these Rescuer's Blues. But I'm still hoping someone will rescue me (that online dating service I think I'll sue!) -- Jim Willis <tiergartenjim @ yahoo.com> |