|
The best part about the local agricultural fairs
(after the animals) is the plethora of junk food. Our local fair is the
largest and oldest in the state of Maine and we get everything. So when my
brother in law and friends decided to come up at the last minute for the weekend
the only place they could park their Travel homes was my yard. We made a
deal -- in exchange for living in my front yard for three days they would bring
my husband and I some reeeaaaalllly good fair food. A funnel cake, Italian
Sausage and a Bloomin' Onion. Now this is no easy task, although there is
only one place for funnel cake, finding the best Italian Sausage (hot Italian
Sausage smothered in sautéed green pepper and onion and put grease and all into
a fresh sub roll) and the best blooming onion is a chore. But a deal is a
deal. So after going through all the booths and checking out everything
and asking advice of the locals they found just the right place for The Sausage
and The B. Onion. True to their mission they picked up the food the last
thing and hustled it out of the Fair Grounds and headed home 7 miles through
bumper to bumper traffic. My husband was home and knowing that the only
thing I really cared about was the onion (and afraid of an untimely and horrible
death if he touched my onion) he carefully turn the oven to warm and placed the
onion and the horseradish sauce in the oven. Now with a yard full of
strangers you can just guess that Maude, Casey and Zack were in full chorus
every minute they were outside.
Dear Husband decided that he did not want to be
chorused to, so he brought said dogs inside. Now our Casey, who looked
more like the sheep then the Shepard when we first got her, has begun to slim
down -- through no fault of her own. She has the best nose for available food
going and she is not a sharer -- Share is not only not in her vocabulary -- it
isn't in the language she speaks. Maude, is the giving sort. As long as
you roll her over and tear it out of her jaws. But she is a picky eater --
very selective our Maude... Only the best. Zack is the mechanic -- if it
is shut he opens it and then shows the girls how to do it so he doesn't have to
be bother to do it a second time. And if there is food involved --
Well let's just say that Zack WILL get his portion. DH, not wanting me to
burn my fingers when I greedily grasped MY onion left the towel
on the oven door. And the fates laughed. Hmmm the scent of fresh deep fat fried
onion wafted through the air curling up the three black noses. Hmmm said the
team -- we can do this.. but we must be quiet or HE who sleeps with she who must
be obeyed will catch is. Hmmm then we must share. What! Hush...
quietly now. First you grab the towel and tug.. I got a paw in --oh, oh
hot ow --HUSH. But it's hot --pull the towel.. there! the door is
down now.. just the food -- OH sauce I get the sauce --Quiet --there here it is
out. Now. snarf, gobble, crunch --Maude you are eating the plate!
--Hush....
When I got home from work and hour later then
everyone else -- they were all sitting mournfully quiet around the campfire
(well okay kerosene heater) in my driveway. The dogs, silent. Not a
peep. As I came up the drive my sister in law said --" I really did bring
it to you. " My first inkling that all was not wonderful, my husband hands
me the little plastic soufflé cup that at one time contained the horseradish
sauce for my onion.. "I saved this for you".. I asked who ate my onion -- only
silence-- then a lonesome lonely --RRuuufff -- and quiet. Then everyone
started laughing -- and I said
"Mitch you ATE my onion !"
-- and he said "No-- the dogs did."
"You left my onion on the counter" (this is high
treason in a house where even the garbage goes in the microwave under the
cupboard and hopefully out of the dogs reach)
"Nope the oven"
"The Oven?"
"Yep"
"They opened the oven -- give me a
break"
"Go see YOUR dogs--they ate your
onion"
Do you know how hard it is to get grease off white
fur? -- All three of them had onion breathe -- but not a scrap of onion was
left!.
Now we have a new rule in the house -- no towels on
any appliance doors -- because Zack figured that if he could use the towel trick
on the oven -- it might just work on the refrigerator. I think it is really sad
when a dog will eat, salad, salsa and tuna fish. To say nothing of
hamburger, chicken and custard.-- Did they get a stomach ache, a gas attach --
NO, but I sure have been busy on the pen pick up duty.
I was going to throw them all out -- but as Mitch
pointed out they would just follow the crumbs back home and be very hungry when
they got here. LOL
Tea
going out to buy groceries no and a padlock (do you
think they will learn the combination? <VBG>
|