[pyrnet] dogaholics anonymous

["Barb Bowes" <bamb@monmouth.com>]

Received this on another list, thought you all might enjoy it!
:-)   Barb






>> Dogaholics Anonymous.........

Good Evening.

My name is  Helen and I AM a Dogaholic.

I would like to welcome all of you to this month's meeting of

Dogaholics Anonymous. Some of you are here tonight because a
friend

or relative brought you here. You may be sitting here thinking
that

you are OK and that you really don't need any help. It is not
easy to

admit that you are a dogaholic and it is even harder to bring

yourself to a DAA meeting for help. DAA is here to assist you.

I have some questions to ask. If you can answer YES to more than

three of the following, you have come to the right place.

Can you say "Bitch" in public without blushing?

Do you drive a station wagon, van or 4x4 when everyone else
drives a
real

car?

Do you have more than one car? One for you and one for the dogs?

Do you spend your vacations and holidays going to shows,
specialties

and seminars when everyone else goes on a cruise?

If you do go overseas, is it to London in March to attend Crufts?

Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would make most

doctors leave in disgust?

Do you consider formal wear to be clean jeans and freshly washed
tennis

shoes?

Is your interior decorator R.C. Steele?

Was your furniture and carpeting chosen to match your dogs?

Are your end tables really dog crates with tablecloths thrown
over
them?

Do you know the meaning of CD, CDX, UD, OTCH, CGC, HIC, WC, JH,
MH, NA, OA,
AX, MX, NAJ, OAJ, AXJ, MXJ, MACH and CH?

Is your mail made up primarily of dog catalogs, dog magazines and

premium lists?

Do you get up before dawn to go to Training Classes? Dog Shows?
Seminars?


If you do have dresses, do they all have pockets?

Do those pockets often contain freeze dried liver, Rollover or
squeaky
toys?

When you meet a new person do you always ask them what kind of
dog

they have and pity them if they don't have one?

Do you remember the name of their dog sooner than you remember
their
name?

Do you find non dog people boring?

Do you subscribe to an internet dog mailing list?????

If you answered YES to one of the above, there is still hope. If
you

answered YES to two, you are in serious trouble. If you answered
YES

to three or more, you have come to the right place.

My advice to all of you with three or more YES's is to sit back
and

smile, turn to the smiling person next to you and know that your
life

will always be filled with good friends and good dogs and it will

never be boring.
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