Re: [pyrnet] Doggie Christmas Rules

Doggie Christmas Rules:

1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may
appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long
comforting dog leans.

2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not
assume that all the gifts are yours.

3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get
some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers.

4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent
place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to
you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things
you
need to know: Don't pee on the tree - don't drink water in the container
that holds the tree. Mind your tail when you are near the tree - if there
are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have
your name on them, ! do! n't rip them open - don't chew on the cord that runs
from the funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree.

5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit
during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call
for
some discretion on your part: Not all strangers appreciate kisses and
leans - don't eat off the buffet table - beg for goodies subtly - be
pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa - don't drink out of
glasses that are left within your reach.

6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will
also
be important: Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other
people's houses. Respect the territory of other animals that may live in
the
house - tolerate children - turn on your charm big time.

7. A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your
fireplace in the middle of the ! ni! ght. DON'T BITE HIM!!