[PyrNet-L] Fw:let sleeping dogs lie

["Lara & Jimmy Spears" <k9parent@earthlink.net>]

I got this from another list - I thought it should strike home with many of
the discussions going on lately<g>!  Enjoy!  Lara Spears


>
> Whoever said "LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE" didn't sleep with dogs.
>
> The first thing you discover when you bring a dog onto your bed is the
> striking difference in weight between an alert, awake dog and a dog at
> rest.
>
> Rule Number One: The deeper the sleep the heavier the dog.
>
> Most people who sleep with dogs develop spinal deformities rather than
> rent the heavy equipment necessary to move their snoring canines to a
> more appropriate part of the bed. Cunning canines steal precious space
> in tiny increments until they have achieved the center position on the
> bed - with all covers carefully tucked under them for safekeeping. The
> stretch and roll method is very effective in gaining territory. Less
> subtle tactics are sometimes preferred. A jealous dog can worm his
> way between a sleeping couple and, with the proper spring action from
> all four legs, shove a sleeping human to the floor.
>
> Rule Number Two: Dogs possess superhuman strength while on a bed.
>
> As you cling to the edge of the bed, wishing you had covers, your sweet
> pup begins to snore at a volume you would not have thought possible.
> Once that quiets down, the dog dreams begin. Yipping, growling,
> running, kicking. Your bed becomes a battlefield and playground of
> canine
> fantasy. It starts out with a bit of "sleep running", lots of eye
> movement and
> then, suddenly, a shrieking howl blasted through the night like a
> banshee
> wail.
> The horror of this wake-up call haunts you for years. It's particularly
> devastating when your pup insists on sleeping curled around your head
> like a demented Daniel Boone cap.
>
> Rule Number Three: The deeper the sleep, the louder the dog.
>
> The night creeps on and you fall asleep in the 3 inches of bed not
> claimed by a dog. The dog dreams quiet slightly and the heap of
> dogflesh
> sleeps
> breathing heavily and passing wind. Then, too soon, it's dawn and the
> heap stirs. Each dog has a distinctive and unpleasant method of waking
> the pack. One may position itself centimeters from a face and stare
> until you wake.
> The clever dog obtains excellent results by simply sneezing
> on your face, or they could romp all over your sleeping bodies - or
> the ever-loving insertion of a tongue in an unsuspecting ear.
>
> Rule Number Four: When the dog wakes - you wake.
>
> So, why do we put up with this? There's no sane reason. Perhaps it's
> just that we're a pack and a pack heaps together at night - safe,
> contented, heavy and loud.
>
> Author Unknown