Re: [PyrNet-L] Lexi's puppies & me.

["Merrilie" <Grammy@biddeford.com>]

Hang in there--- we all go through bouts of *stuff* we wish we didn't have
to.  The puppies will bring you great joy, and Lexi will be a great mom...
how can she miss with all the attention?  You are not alone, and everyone is
only a key-stroke away!  Good luck, and let us know how you are and how the
pups are!  Our prayers and thoughts are with you,
Merrilie and Sam and Barney too...:)

----- Original Message -----
From: judith diamond <pyrenees@gwi.net>
To: <pyrnet-l@pyrnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, July 20, 1999 12:30 AM
Subject: [PyrNet-L] Lexi's puppies & me.


> Dearest pyr friends,
>     Please her my tears, and anguished apology up front for having
> gotton myself where I am in regards to being so very ill- prepared with
> my darling preganant Lexi. These day's, I live in freqent impending doom
> and belly
> terror and sleepless nights, having to cancel huge commitments due to my
> manic deppressive illness & Lexi coming into heat a month earlier.  This
> illness has phases; hyper-
> mania, deep, dark deppression and normal phases to it.
>      My worst fears have come true. Until now I have been very worried
> about
> becoming  the breed & show person that I have always long to be because
> I knew that I could'nt trust my mental illness. The
> how's and why's, even with my medication diligence still makes it
> impossible to predict when I and for how long I will be the happy,
> compentent, reliable and type of human being that I really am.
>     I have a virtually and sometimes uncontrollable major
> mental/physical illness, or
> disapility, that some call bypolar illness. I as one of them call myself
>
> a Manic Deppressive because it does not sugar coat the truth. It has had
>
> me on and off by the throat for months, I am in it now and is devasating
>
> me and my ability to be the very best breeder and pyr parent for my
> beloved pregnant  Lexi and care for her and her upcoming little ones
> that I know I am when I am not in the yuky cycles of it.
>      I have been paralized with my ability & desire to use of this
> priceless to help walk me through questions and such.
>     Help me please? Lexi is only near a month away from
> whelping.
>     Please, at this point malredy my phone bills are high and at
> this point my  telephone pyr friends/breeders is not enough because I
> need all of you wise and experienced loving pyr people.
> They, really were never going to be all I used. I had so hoped and
> planned to be in regular commuication here at least 2 months ago. For I
> consider Pyr-net to have invaluable resources.
> I think that most of us are extrodinary people for loving our pyrenees
> who are an  extraordinary,amazing and very, very pyrperfect.
> I do not know how hard it will be for me to cope and how much I can cope
> with from day to day. Sometimes I can feel imobilized. I must be willing
> to go to any lenth to be helped for my
> illness. There is a *slim* chance I will have to go to a private mental
> hospital for a few days. I am working very hard to insure that if that
> happens, it will be this week, long before the pups are born. And
> fighting with this
> Manic monster so that will not have to happen.
>     I adore Nicloe Sharp & Janet Jo Roberts Weymouth. They have been
> like family and have offered, if neccessary one or the other will be
> here for me and or the precious puppies, if neccessary. Thank God!
>      I should add here; that for 10 days I have been well enough to
> fight
> my way back to health more and more. I  am using my internist
> until I go back into full therapy, or just medication visit's. The
> pyschitrist I am in communication will be setting me up with an
> evaluation, hopefully he'l'l accept me as his patient. The evaluation
> may not be for 2 weeks, At his office.
>      The final and  apology is about my not responding a
> month ago to my urgent post for help. I think I may have posted here,
> maybe not. I had gotton my answer that Friday
> or Saturday away from the list and fled to See Carol Baxter in Canada
> Monday. Even tough everything went topsy turvy in my
> life also due to Lexington going into heat when she did, by then I was
> computer paralized and couldn't respond. I'll tell you why so maybe some
>
> of you would't mind giving me a solution.
>     I am the kind of person through upbringing, kindness, politeness or
> being a general sucker, that I feel selfish posting help just for me &
> an occassional post only, to help other's. I get wrapped up in feeling
> that it is the only fair & right thing to do to answer everyone's
> posting on their dead pyr, sick pyr, brags about thier show pyr, and
> other times I know I might help & do. I end up spending enormous time &
> energy on pyr online newsletters sacrificing other thing's in my
> life.Then I get addicted
> to writing Jonah & Lexi stories and of course, *they* have to be spelled
>
> and written almost perfectly. Then I have to go offline for days, weeks
> or months and then I  feel estraged from my wonderful friends so get
> paralized &
> don't stay in touch at all. It seems perhaps silly to some of you
> perhaps. I can understand why. There apparenty many people that get like
>
> this online though.
>     To capsilize my breeding homework has fallen way behing and I hope
> that I may call upon you for help.
>             I thank you for being who and what you are.
>     My very best to you in pyr-spirit and in all the good spirits.
>     Judith-Lexi & Jonah
>
>
>
>
>
>
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