[PyrNet-L] CHAT: Albert at the keyboard!

[MagEBroD@aol.com]

 Fellow Pyrs:
   Well, when "Mom" stopped to get me a burger last night I tried hard to
convince "mom" that a second burger in honor of Joy (who sent me a love poem)
was a good idea....alas she babbled on about how I am on a DIET because it is
harder to feel my ribs lately after the holiday treats!  So if it bothers her
so much why does she bother trying to feel my ribs?? Sure it would bother her
if someone tried to feel HER ribs!!  Anyway I just got the one burger.  She
tried to make me feel better by pointing out that she needs to diet off her
holiday goodies too now and pointed out how she didn't even get a burger
herself.  As if THAT makes me feel any better!  I saw through the window that
they had about four more burgers up, just waiting for someone to get them!!
You wouldn't want them to go to waste!  Sometimes these humans get
conveniently deaf!!  Do your humans ever do that?  
    Then the burger was too hot and so she got this bright idea to go for RUN
first while it cooled, all part of that DIET PLOT of hers!  She had that No-
Pull Harness on me and its lucky for her as I can now outrun her and the hubby
both, but I was a total sweetie and ran with her. (After all she did still
have the burger!!)  Then at last I got to eat my burger!  Then she wanted me
to show off by doing tricks for the people there!  I wasn't thrilled about it
after having to wait while we ran to sink my teeth into that burger. Also I
could have downed that burger in about one gulp and SHE wanted to break it up
into little "bite-size" pieces!!  I don't know about you but that's not what I
consider bite-size!! More like half a burger is bite-size! So a couple times I
acted deaf (2 can play that game!) and made her repeat her command!!  What
makes them think that just because they say some dumb word that we should do
what they want,  when they want it?? Humans!  There are PLENTY of times when I
can give her my "starving pup" look and still she ignores it!  She may mumble
some garbage about chocolate or too much sugar or something...but she
certainly does not always do what I want her to do!  
   Like laundry day......Here's this whole basket full of socks and towels and
stuff and so I help myself, like any self respecting Pyr pup would do.....and
she has a FIT!!  Yells and expects me to bring it back so she can take it
back!  (Yeah! That'll happen! NOT!! )  Then she actually comes and takes it
away from me!! Every time I do it!!  You'd think she would catch on that I
want to keep it and shred it....but NOOOOOO!! Humans can be SO DENSE
sometimes!! They are supposed to be taking care of us and our needs and wants,
right??? So what's up with this???
    Well, we went for a long walk in town last night, too.  "Practicing our
commands amid distractions of the city" she calls it. I figured I might as
well play along what with the promise of that burger if I cooperated and all.
Besides the extra cuddles and loves and "Good Boy"'s are worth it,  I guess.
But there are so many sights and sounds and smells around it isn't always
easy.  She seemed so pleased with me though.  Guess you have to throw your
humans a bone once in a while! (Figure of speech only!!  The bones are MINE!!)
   We ran into Big Burly Biker-Dude again in town. My "mom" gets a kick out of
how this big burly tough looking guy just melts around me and has to hug me
and have me kiss him!!  What's she expect?  "Vee Pyrs have our vays!!"  We are
made too irresistable!!  We see this guy around town a lot. He'll always go
out of his way to come see me.  He may be blocks away and he'll yell "HEY!
Hold IT!" and turn our way and come to see me. Mom is used to him and used to
lots of different people.  Once my sister Heidi and her "mom" and the Girl
Laura were downtown and this same Big Burly Biker Dude saw THEM and from a
distance he thought Heidi was ME.....So he yelled "Hey! Hold IT!" and rushed
their wa!!  .....kinda freaked them out, I guess!!  .....but then he said "Hey
this isn't Albert!" when he got up close. Then they explained that it was
Albert's sister Heidi and it went OK then once they realized he wasn't going
to attack them! You have to realize that most of the time this guy has an "eau
de Budweiser " aroma to him.  As long as he's not driving and not causing
trouble or being obnoxious, Mom says "Different Strokes For Different
Strokes". (And after all his judgment can't be too impaired if he realizes
what a sweetie I am, I reply!) Being motorcycle enthusiasts ourselves, we are
used to talking to lots of different biking enthusiasts. (Mom's a bit of a
Harley Biker-Chick Wannabe herself I suspect!  At least she loves those ol'
Harleys with the big fenders and BIG SEATS! Maybe she identifies with them!! I
did mention that SHE needed a DIET too now!  Ha Ha!  She laughs at me enough,
I couldn't resist!)  Some people think it's weird that I don't bark at
motorcycles, but I am used to them.  Only bad thing about them is I haven't
yet figured out how to go along for a ride with them on one.  I'm trying to
convince them they need a side-car for it! Of course they they'd have to fit
me for a helmet, too, then! Ane a black leather motorcycle jacket....Can't you
just see me?!!! I'd be so cool! Not that I am not cool now....I am WAY  COOL
now,  too!  Just not black leather Biker Dog cool ....yet. 
    Hey I wrote you a poem to Joy and e-mailed it to her.  I'll see if "mom"
or the biggest kid can scan a photo of me. The hardest part will be deciding
which one, probably!  They have SO MANY!!  Mom wants to take a couple MORE
too.  She has a cute idea that she thinks will make the Pyr babes swoon if it
turns out OK.  Would be cute on Joy's webpage with the hearts!  We'll work on
it today. The Director in "mom" comes out sometimes!  It is a take-off on a
scene she put in the last play they all did. As a matter of fact:  the
SEDUCTION SCENE!!   Get ready to swoon all you Pyr babes!

:)```         (me, Albert, grinning & drooling!)
 
 The Infamous Albert  
 
 "mom"':  Janice Vocke  (MagEBroD@aol.com)
 Shelton, WA.