[PyrNet-L] Chat: NAT'L DOG WEEK DOGGIE PLEDGE

["Gitano Road" <petmydog@vvm.com>]

NATIONAL DOG WEEK DOGGIE PLEDGE

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the
  coffee table.

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.


I will not drool into mom's coffee cup. 

I will not drool into mom's shoes.

I will not drool on the plants. 

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.

I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of carpet in the house
 when I am about to throw up.

I will not throw up in the car.

I will scootch my bottom along the grass to rid myself of hangers-on, not
  the carpet.

I will not roll on dead birds, frogs, lizards, etc.

I will not eat other animals' poop.

I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.

I will not roll my head around in other animals' poop.

"Kitty box crunchies" are not food.

I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard
  after processing.

I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.
   I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

I will not chew pens or magic markers, especially not the red ones, or my
  people will think I am hemorrhaging.

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when
  it's raining outside.

I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is
  sitting on the toilet.

We do NOT have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on T.V.

I will not goose the guests.

I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with
  it.

The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator.