Re: I am the Soccolot Dictator

[Douglas Zander <dzander@solaria.sol.net>]

On Wed, 23 Jan 2002, Eric Shultz wrote:

> I am officially and unilaterally declaring myself the
> Soccolot Dictator.  I cannot claim to be the Soccolot
> King, because I haven't yet reached the top of the
> standings - yet.  

  - you can't claim to be the Soccolot King because only Elvis has
    that right!  He is a great player, I saw him just yesterday in
    the park, playing goalie.

> I have won the longest Soccolot game to date.  If you
> wish proof of my greatness, look at board number 85.

  - greatness?!  You couldn't kick a soccer ball into the broadside
    of a cow!  

> If you fear a humiliating defeat, do not challenge me.

 - I fear a humiliating, boring game...

>  I am too powerful a Soccolot force to be stopped.

 - is that anything like the force of excess gas in my lower intestines?
   sometimes that cannot be stopped either...

> If you are brave, or just like to be punished, then
> challenge me.

 - brave is ackowledging that you were the inventor of the game "PowerDrain"

> I am Swift.

 - then why did it take over 200 moves and two months to finish one lousy
   game?

> You can call me Your Soccolot Majesty.

 - You can call me Your Soccolot Jester.