[DL] Bad jokes of the old west

["Brom Clancy" <spleen23@webtrolls.com>]

Back in the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted
more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He 
practised
every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet
first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong. Sitting 
in a
saloon
one Saturday night, he recognised an elderly man seated at the bar who
had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West in his day. The
young cowboy took the seat next to the old timer, bought him a drink, and
told
him the story of his great ambition. "Do you think you could give me
some tips?" he asked.
The old man looked him up and down and said, "Well, for
one thing you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little
lower down on your leg." "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked 
the
young man. "Sure will," said the old timer. The young man did as he was
told,
stood up, whipped out his ..44 and shot the bow tie off the piano
player.
"That's terrific!" said the cowboy, "Got any more tips for me?" "Yep,"
said the old man, "Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits 
it.
That'll give you a smoother draw." "Will that make me a better
gunfighter?" asked the younger man. "You bet it will," said the old timer.
The young
man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, 
and
shot a cufflink off the piano player.
"Wow!" said the cowboy, "I'm learnin' somethin' here--got any more tips?"
The old man pointed to a large can
in a corner of the saloon. ? "See that axle grease there? Coat your gun 
with
it." The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease
on the barrel of his gun. "No," said the old timer, "I mean smear it all
over the gun, handle and all." "Will that make me a better gunfighter?"
asked
the young man. "No," said the old timer, "but when Wyatt Earp gets done
playin' the piano, he's going to shove that gun up your ass, and it won't
hurt as much!