[DL] One little addition to the OT list, that everyone can enjoy.;-)

["Stryfe Mac.com" <saintstryfe@mac.com>]

Announcer: Deadlands, the Weird West... Satanıs game. Your children like it
or not, are attracted in their weaker years to the occult, and a game like
D-L fuels their imagination, and makes them feel ³special², while drawing
them deeper, and deeper under the hooves of El Diablo. This afternoon, the
Stryfe Watchtower invites you to sit in on an actual gaming session. Observe
the previously unobservable, as a hidden camera takes you to the inner
sanctum of Deadlands...

DM: Charlie Ray, you have entered the door to the north. You are now by
yourself standing in a dark room. The pungent stench of manure emanates from
the dry desert air...

Player 1 (yelling from other room): Where are the Ding Dongs!?*

DM: Theyıre right next to you..

Player 2: I cast a hex!

Player 1: Whereıs the Snapple Fire!?*

DM: In the Fridge! Duh!

Player 2: I wanna cast a hex!

Player 1: Can I have a Snapple Fire!?

DM: Yes, you can have a Snapple Fire, just go get it!

Player 2: I can cast any of these right? On the character sheet?

DM: Yes, any of the oneıs written there that you know...

Player 1: Iım gonna get a drink, any one else want one!? Hey Marshall, Iım
not in the room right!?

DM: What room?

Player 2: I wanna cast SOUL BLAST.

Player 1: The room where heıs casting all these hexes from!

DM: He hasnıt cast anything yet!

Player 2: I am though, if youıd listen! Iım casting SOUL BLAST.

DM: Why are you casting Soul Blast? Thereıs nothing to attack here...

Player 2: I... Iım attacking the Clock!!

::all laugh::

DM: hehe... fine, fine. You attack the Clock. Thereıs a man in front of
you...

Player 3: Whoa... Thatıs me right?

DM: Heıs wearing a, uh, black suit, white collar, and he has gray hair and
blue eyes. 

Player 3: No, I donıt, I have gray eyes.

DM: Let me see that sheet.

Player 3: Well it says, well it says I have blue, well, but I decided I
wanted gray eyes.

DM: What ever. Okay, you guys can talk to each other now if you want.

Player 2: uh... Hello...

Player 3: Hello.

Player 2: I am Charlie Ray Parker, Gambler Extraordinaire!

Player 3: Then how come you cast that bolt of energy, Sorcerer?

Player 2: I.. I got black joker.

::all laugh::

DM: hehe, eh, yo, you you, you guys are being attacked.

Player 1: Do I see that happening!?

DM: No! Your outside by the Saloon...

Player 1: Cool, I get drunk!

DM: Urgh... There, there are 7 Banditos surrounding you.

Player 3: How can they surround us? I had God Watches His Flock cast.

DM: No you didnıt.

Player 1: Iım getting drunk, are there any girls there!?

Player 3: I totally did! You asked me if I wanted any equipment before this
adventure, and I said no, but I said I need to spend Bounty points, so I
cast God Watches His Flock.

DM: But you canıt use Miracles with Bounty points, and I donıt think God
Watches His Flock is even in Fire and Brimstone! And itıs not cast, itıs
use, this isnıt DnD.

Player 1: Roll the dice to see if Iım getting drunk!

DM: Urgh... Yeah, you are.

Player 1: Are there any girls there?

DM: Yeah!

Player 3: I did though! I completely said when you asked me...

DM: No you didnıt! You didnıt actually say you were using the miracle, so
now thereıs banditos, okay?

Player 1: Banditos!? Man I got an Artifact knife, it does 5d6 against common
Bandits!**

DM: Your not there! Your getting drunk!

Player 1: Okay, but if there are any girls there, I want to do them!!

Announcer: There you have it... A frightening look into Americaıs most
frightening past time. Remember, itıs not your childrenıs fault that theyıre
being drawn into a Satanic world of nightmare, itıs their gym teacherıs
fault, for making them feel outcast when they couldnıt do a single pull-up,
and trick shooting doesnıt count in pansy class rooms back east...

...

Working where I do, I get enough jokes to last a lifetime. :-)

-Stryfe

*-These are jokes only people in my gaming group get. Sorry. :-)
**-Yes, this was an artifact in a game I ran... I called it Don Quixote's
Knife, and some how, it got to California. :-)

-- 
         ___
        /  *| Plattsburgh, NY - College
       /    |  Bobby Hansen
  ____/     |  http://student.plattsburgh.edu/hans5846
 / Albany + |  hans5846@mail.plattsburgh.edu
|______     |  saintstryfe@mac.com
       \  * | Ulster Park, NY - Home
        \___|___
           + \__\ New York, NY