[DL] Dumb Playtesters--OT

[toadpooka@juno.com]

I got this message from the StarChildren mailing list.  It's the author's
reply to a very misguided soul that tried to sign up for playtesting his
game.
I s'pose he just doesn't suffer fools lightly...

From Whom It May Concern,
Rich Ranallo

"Guns Don't Kill People. Irresponsible, Short-Sighted Lobby Groups Do."

--------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "Pyrite Mirrormullet" <stardust23@postmaster.co.uk>
To: Wes <wdavis@puma.dpg.devry.edu>
Cc: starchildrenRPG@yahoogroups.com

On Tue, 13 Feb 2001 17:14:42 -0800 (PST) Wes <wdavis@puma.dpg.devry.edu>
wrote:
> http://trio.rpg.net/pf/read.php?f=34&i=517&t=461
> 
> I have never playtested a game before but I have beat
>nearly every american RPG ever since Dragon Warrior.  I
>know what I am doing when it comes to RPG's so I would
>love to test out your game for you.  

Dear Wes,
I am currently compiling a list of potential playtesters.  Your in
experience with playtesting shouldn't prove to be much of a problem, as
long as you have an extensive knowledge of American RPGs.  However, for
our files, we need to acquire some information from you.  Please answer
the following questions and send them back to me.

1. What is your full name?

2. Where are you from?  We don't need an exact address, but a vague
location would be advisable.

3. What are your 5 favorite albums?

4. What are your 10 favorite David Bowie songs?

5. What is the strangest thing you've ever done for heroin?

6. Please provide proof that your genealogical descent, from 1520 until
present, is free of Welsh ancestry.

7. What is your opinion of the economic effects of the Euro on the
Pan-Atlantic drug trade?

8. Are you allergic to latex?

9. Do you ever experience prescient dreams, sensations of flying, or have
you ever found yourself speaking in tongues?

10. Suppose you are in a maze.  You come to a split in the path, and are
unsure of which way to go.  Standing before each pathway is a single
guard.  One of these guards always tells the truth, and the other always
lies.  A sign above reads, "one of these paths will bring you to the end
of the maze, the other will bring certain death."  If you are only able
to ask each guard a single question, how will you be able to fill a
5-gallon bucket with precisely 4 gallons of water using only an empty
3-gallon bucket and an effectively limitless supply of water?  Bear in
mind, that if there is one ounce more or less than 4 gallons in the
bucket, the guard that always tell the truth will kill 14 puppies in
front of your daughter's pre-school classroom.

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