[DL] Re: Harrowed Chipmunks (LONG)

["Nick Zachariasen" <zacharin@pluto.dsu.edu>]

> Someone explain Harrowed Chipmunks please
> Sounds interesting

I wasn't around for the origin of this, but here's something for you.  I
sent this to Goff as a website submission (hey, they could use some fan
humor, even if it is a big in-joke).  However, I've just fixed some typos,
but here it is, for the benefit of all those who have joined the listserv
since it was first posted:


                                                                         The
Tale Of Squeaks


One day on the trail, Stone started thinking about the solitude of his
(un)life on the trail. Now, being the evil bastard that he is, Stone doesn't
really like people to begin with, but he still needed someone (or something)
to break up the tedium of killing heroes day in, day out, same old, same
old. Granted, he likes killing the heroes, but that doesn't mean it doesn't
get old after a while. Being the resourceful man he is, Stone decided to tap
into his inner demons- well, demon, anyway. He decided to enter a trance to
contact his manitou. Essentially, he said "I want a new power as strong as I
can get it- NOW!!!!". The manitou ended up giving him Unholy Host (being one
of the only powers Stone hadn't bothered to develop yet).

Now, this new power was something of a challenge for old Jasper. Unholy Host
gives you a retinue of Walkin' Dead, but as mobile as his (un)lifestyle
causes him to be, this power was of somewhat questionable usefulness to
Stone in its normal form- so he decided to do a little experiment. Up to
this point, he'd used Hell Beast to mainly just make a dead horse get up and
give him a lift for a while until he didn't need it anymore, at which point
he'd just let it die (again). However, Stone had some different plans for it
this time around.

First, he needed a subject. To obtain a specimen, he picked up an acorn and
used Varmint Control to get a nearby chipmunk to come into his hand. While
the chipmunk was eating the acorn, Stone quickly broke its neck, killing it.
Stone then placed the poor animal's carcass on the ground in preparation. He
decided to attempt something no Harrowed had ever (to anyone's knowledge, at
least) attempted before: he used two of his Harrowed powers in conjunction
with each other.

This combination of Unholy Host and Hell Beast produced a rather interesting
and altogether unique animal. The chipmunk stood up, its eyes blazing with
evil. Stone knew he had done well. However, after a few seconds, the
chipmunk looked up- far up- at Stone and realized something must be wrong.
It then looked at itself and realized that something was definitely wrong.
Stone saw the look of a cute, innocent chipmunk return to this wretched
creature's face. Somehow, by some insane chance of dumb luck, the chipmunk
had managed to gain Dominion over the Manitou inhabiting it!

Stone again entered a trance and ordered his Manitou to get in contact with
the chipmunk's. Acting as interpreter, Stone's Manitou explained to him that
the Manitou inside the chipmunk is actually rather depressed over the fact
that it's ended up in a chipmunk rather than one of those fun humans, so it
had just gone off into a corner of the chipmunk's brain to sulk for a little
while and didn't want to talk anymore. Stone figured that was why the
chipmunk had regained Dominion (and has almost always kept it since then,
losing it only in times of great need). The experiment not being a total
success in Stone's lifeless eyes, he considered just putting the little guy
down- however, despite himself, he found the little guy cute in an evil,
twisted, just-plain-wrong sort of way. After a couple minutes of internal
debate, his Manitou suggested that the chipmunk, being so cute and
innocuous, could be used to sneak in among mortals and cause major havoc, or
to cause minor havoc which could in turn create an opening for Stone himself
to cause major havoc.

Stone decided to keep the chipmunk around just for fun, and it even grew on
him a little. He decided to give it a name: Squeaks. Normally, animals don't
exactly like Harrowed, but being Harrowed himself, Squeaks isn't exactly
normal. Apparently, Squeaks was a bit- shall we say- dim. He has an odd
loyalty to Stone, the man who killed him in the first place. In between hero
killings, Stone managed to teach Squeaks a few tricks, such as begging,
rolling over, and Varmint Control at level 5. Squeaks mainly uses this power
to keep predators from eating him. Squeaks also learned two levels in Fast
as Death while he was learning Varmint Control so he could run away from
Varmints that were too big for him to Control. He's also developed 3 levels
in Spider. Stone may be considering teaching him Possession just for laughs.
Sometimes Stone has great fun sending him after heroes and watching the
looks on their faces as they have chipmunk bite-induced heart attacks.

So, Stone's been riding the trail with Squeaks ever since. He's been riding,
teaching Squeaks more tricks, and reading that odd book about games...




                                                Stats for Squeaks the
Harrowed chipmunk
Corporeal:
Deftness 1d4 (a chipmunk just can't handle anything with those stubby little
arms...)
Nimbleness 4d8 (...but they are small and quick)
      Climbin' 6d8
      Dodge 6d8
      Fightin': Biting 2d8 (teeth do STR+1d4 damage)
      Sneak 3d8
Strength 1d4
Quickness 2d12+2
Vigor 2d10

Mental:
Cognition 3d10
      Search 6d10 (when he was alive, he knew how to find food, but that was
it)
Knowledge 4d4
      Language: Chipmunk 5d4 (Native- call him a bit of an idiot savant)
      Language: English 2d4 (He can understand Stone, even though he can't
speak English.)
      Science: Forest Ecology 2d4
Mien 4d8 (he's just so damn CUTE!!!)
      Performin': simple animal tricks (roll over, beg, fetch small objects,
play/be dead, etc.)
Smarts 1d4
      Survival: Forest 5d4
Spirit 3d8 (Squeaks is a rather cheery, if dumb, little guy.)

Harrowed powers:
Fast As Death 2
Spider 3
Supernatural Trait (Quickness)
Unholy Reflexes 3
Varmint Control 5


I now return you to your regularly scheduled lunacy.

Nick "hiding from the torches and pitchforks" Zachariasen