[DL] Cannibalism causes heart attacks. . .

[Allan Seyberth <darious@darious.com>]

I just got this in.  I figure that as a fair warning to all you servants of
the Reckoners out there, I would pass this along.

=======================
This an actual "news" story from weeklyworldnews.com... 

MANAUS, Brazil -- Doctors have ordered crestfallen cannibals in the jungle
near here to stop eating missionaries, environmentalists and neighboring
tribesmen -- and switch to a diet rich in leafy vegetables, berries and nuts! 
The medical team laid down the law after determining that most members of
the man-eating Egosi tribe are suffering from dangerously high levels of
cholesterol. 
Seven public health doctors -- accompanied by more than a dozen heavily
armed bodyguards -- visited the tribe after receiving reports that
relatively young members were dropping dead of apparent heart attacks. 
The specialists discovered that 86 percent of the adult cannibals had
extremely high cholesterol levels of 400 or more and that their children
were obese compared to the offspring of nearby non-cannibalistic tribes. 
"It was not easy persuading them to let us draw their blood, but once we
convinced them it was for their own good, they cooperated up to a point,"
recalled team leader Dr. Emanuel Cruz. "What we discovered was that their
cholesterol levels were extremely high because of a diet that consists
largely of human flesh -- which is very, very high in fat content. 
"But when we told them what would be required to get themselves back on
track, we heard a lot of mumbling and grumbling, that's for sure." 
The doctors discovered that the Egosi have been eating more human flesh
than normal recently because of an influx of missionaries into the region,
as well as a steady parade of "tree- huggers" intent on saving the Amazon
rain forests. 
"These idiots are venturing into the jungle all alone, and the cannibals
are having a field day, picking them off and eating them in bunches," Dr.
Cruz said. 
But despite the doctors' warning that their diet is killing them, angry
tribal elders say they have little desire to give up their favorite meat
dishes in favor of veggies and nuts. 
"Allowing all those tourists into our jungle and telling us not to eat them
is like surrounding a child with his favorite toys and telling him not to
play with them," one snaggletoothed tribesman complained. "It's just not
right." 
-------------------
Allan Seyberth
darious@darious.com
Deadlands fan site - http://www.darious.com/deadlands/index.html

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Margaret Thatcher:
There was simply no alternative!